So, the one thing that pissed me off today was someone posted a comment about having sex on the first date or waiting and before he added his comment to it wanted others opinions. Well, since I try not to comment too much on his page Im gonna post here..
I have tried both, I have waited before giving up the goods and some were good, and some weren't and obviously they didnt work or I wouldnt be single. what sucks is I love sex and I want it to be fun with that person that I am trusting that part of me with. I know that it is a special thing but sometimes its just sex. If they can't satisfy me then why waste anyone's time if we can't mesh sexually? No sex is not the most important thing but it is an important part of a solid relationship and if that is lacking no matter how hard you try to make it work it's not gonna work.
I have had sex on the first date but only if I was attracted to them and we had a good connection. However, that has bitten me in my ass cause apparently that makes me look easy..Ok so what do you want it to be men? start off as friends with benefits or fuck buddies whatever you want to call it or not do anything only to find out that you are not compatible and wasted all that time and whatever feelings were involved?
Men take it much harder than a female does because we don't have insecurities about our boob size or whether our shit is gonna be tight enough like guys do about the size of their dicks. If you are honest/truthful about it they take it too far so why even address it like that or spend the time waiting? if you get that goodnight kiss and you feel sparks then chances are there is some chemistry and the sex could potentially be good so give it a try. Life is too short. Not to say you need to be reckless about it because being safe is important but if you only mess with dirty dudes then maybe you need to change your requirements.
My problem with this whole situation is where do I stand to the dude then? If I give it up quick am I not worth keeping around or some side chick shit? Or are you gonna keep me around because I know what I want and you respect that?
Lets be real men. Be about it, if you want a woman who knows what she wants and if she wants you then you should feel privileged we are even fucking with you like that. If all you want is a piece then tell me all you want is a piece, the worst i can say is no.
~bells
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
What I've seen..
Since I was little I started to see just how screwed up this world has gotten and I can honestly say I'm not happy with it. Being raised in a diverse family and being around some intelligent n just plain ignorant people has been a rather interesting experience. I have been questioned about my sisters being a different color before I even understood what it meant and as I got older been treated harshly because of my color and have seen first hand black folks being disrespected because they "look" different.
I love my mother for not raising me to be ignorant and prejudice just because of the color of someone's skin.
I saw Roots for the first time when I was in the 4th grade and I was horrified. I couldn't believe that people were taken from their country and brought here in the harshest conditions and treated like savages. Even the animals on the plantations were treated better than that. What the hell was seriously wrong with the settlers that came over here that made them think that was acceptable? The one thing that irritates me the most is having someone tell me those are "your People" because I am white. No, they are not "my people", we may have the same skin pigmentation but I do not agree with anything that they did.
The one thing that people fail to understand that I learned from a lot of my classes in college is that everyone has "black" in them. We all came from a group of people that originated in Africa and from there traveled to different parts of the world. within that time their skin pigmentation changed because of the environmental conditions they were exposed to. Going from a very hot sunny climate to a milder and cooler climate caused them to adapt. Having dark skin is necessary for those in those hot climates because being darker lessens your chance of cancers and burns because the color absorbs the sun rather than deflecting it like lighter skin does. The lack of melanin present in the skin accounts for the difference in colors of humans, less melatonin/melanin the lighter the color you will be. Lighter colors burn easily because when the sun reflects off of the skin rather than being absorbed causing it to be harsher on the skin. The skin can't absorb the amounts of sun it is exposed to because of the lack of melanin causing the sun to have adverse affects on the cells and causing skin cancers. This isn't the most educated explanation but it gives you an idea of why I can't stand the treatment of others because of their skin tones.
It all comes down to this, black or white people need to stop judging and raising their kids to judge based on skin type. If you want your kids to not be prejudiced and continue the fucked up way that the early settlers started the whole white is right bullshit then stop buying into it. Stop continuing to teach your children the way the "white" people have brain washed you into raising them that another race is better than them and they won't be accepted because of their race. Anyone can be whoever they want to and do whatever they want if they work hard and fight back when people treat them with anything but the respect they deserve. They are human just like anyone else is and deserve the same treatment billy or mary sue get. I can honestly say that I have more respect for black folks then white folks because the way they see life is the way it should be. They have struggled and still fight everyday for what they deserve and white people treat life and what they have as a right rather than a privilege. Nothing in life is free and nothing comes without putting in the work to maintain it. you can be born into money but unless you have respect for it and the people who have helped your family get there you are no better than anyone else.
treat everyone with respect no matter what color they are until they give you a reason to treat them like the shitty person they may be.
~bells
I love my mother for not raising me to be ignorant and prejudice just because of the color of someone's skin.
I saw Roots for the first time when I was in the 4th grade and I was horrified. I couldn't believe that people were taken from their country and brought here in the harshest conditions and treated like savages. Even the animals on the plantations were treated better than that. What the hell was seriously wrong with the settlers that came over here that made them think that was acceptable? The one thing that irritates me the most is having someone tell me those are "your People" because I am white. No, they are not "my people", we may have the same skin pigmentation but I do not agree with anything that they did.
The one thing that people fail to understand that I learned from a lot of my classes in college is that everyone has "black" in them. We all came from a group of people that originated in Africa and from there traveled to different parts of the world. within that time their skin pigmentation changed because of the environmental conditions they were exposed to. Going from a very hot sunny climate to a milder and cooler climate caused them to adapt. Having dark skin is necessary for those in those hot climates because being darker lessens your chance of cancers and burns because the color absorbs the sun rather than deflecting it like lighter skin does. The lack of melanin present in the skin accounts for the difference in colors of humans, less melatonin/melanin the lighter the color you will be. Lighter colors burn easily because when the sun reflects off of the skin rather than being absorbed causing it to be harsher on the skin. The skin can't absorb the amounts of sun it is exposed to because of the lack of melanin causing the sun to have adverse affects on the cells and causing skin cancers. This isn't the most educated explanation but it gives you an idea of why I can't stand the treatment of others because of their skin tones.
It all comes down to this, black or white people need to stop judging and raising their kids to judge based on skin type. If you want your kids to not be prejudiced and continue the fucked up way that the early settlers started the whole white is right bullshit then stop buying into it. Stop continuing to teach your children the way the "white" people have brain washed you into raising them that another race is better than them and they won't be accepted because of their race. Anyone can be whoever they want to and do whatever they want if they work hard and fight back when people treat them with anything but the respect they deserve. They are human just like anyone else is and deserve the same treatment billy or mary sue get. I can honestly say that I have more respect for black folks then white folks because the way they see life is the way it should be. They have struggled and still fight everyday for what they deserve and white people treat life and what they have as a right rather than a privilege. Nothing in life is free and nothing comes without putting in the work to maintain it. you can be born into money but unless you have respect for it and the people who have helped your family get there you are no better than anyone else.
treat everyone with respect no matter what color they are until they give you a reason to treat them like the shitty person they may be.
~bells
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Fuck it..
The best decision I have ever made was to say fuck it.. If shit ain't going right or people are just determined to make your life miserable cause they aren't happy, say fuck it..you cannot change the decisions others make and you can't change how they view the world so why care? It only makes you feel like crap. All you really have to worry about is your happiness and stay positive. You can only offer suggestions and be there for those who want to continue to make bad decisions. That is their lesson to learn from not yours so let it be..
I have never asked anyone for anything but to accept me for who I am. Until you have walked a day in my shoes you will never know how or why I have made the decisions I have so just be happy for me like I am happy for you. Be happy with yourself. When shit goes bad take the blame for it because at the end of the day it was your decision that led you there. Take what you got from it as a lesson and move around it. Don't blame others or God for your issues because they are only guides for you and only you can tell you what to do. The path he has laid out for you is just that, a path. You have the free will to follow it however you want to and you can guarantee that at one crossroads you'll look back at the path you have come down and go FUCK. what the hell was I thinking? when you can look back and see what you did wrong, it makes you a very strong person to accept it and do things differently when you make that next turn. It also gives you the knowledge to avoid making those same decisions down that next path and if you make them again it was your choice because you knew the consequences.
God may not exist, my belief in him may be a figment of my imagination but I still choose to believe that there is something out there because if I didn't then I would not still be walking this earth. I have had to have faith in a being much powerful than me in order to get through the situations life has thrown at me and that I have put myself in or I would never have gotten this far. I choose to believe that there is a purpose for me to be here because I would not have been able to live and enjoy life the way I do if I didn't. I would not have been able to learn from my mistakes and head down a path of happiness if I did not make the decision to find happiness in everything that I do. I have the power to determine how I want to live my life and the power to make it happen and I choose to believe that god is on my side as I do it so if I need to I can go to him if it is too much to bear and he will help me get through it.
I came into this world with the burden of being the product of rape to a young mother who was resentful and angry for the way life was treating her and having it taken out on me even though I didn't ask for it. I am a beautiful gift to her and to myself and I know that what happened wasn't my fault and it isn't her fault because she was too young to know how to deal with a situation most adults can't even deal with. My mother is the strongest person I have ever met and I thank god everyday for believing in her strength to get through it and strength in me for being able to handle something like that. I am truly blessed with the knowledge I have gained and the gift of being able to understand and appreciate people for who they are. I could hate God and hate the world for what I have dealt with but he had a plan for me and I truly believe that if he didn't break the mold for me I would have lived the average normal life that everyone else does. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that by any means nor am I resentful because there is a reason, a purpose for me being here, I have no idea what but that is okay because I know that I make a difference in peoples lives no matter how big or small it may be. I strive to be a better person and accept things as they are but also to make sure that I try a little harder everyday to be a good friend, daughter and sister to my friends and family because without them or God I would not still be here trying.
This may or may not have helped you understand why I do things the way that I do and guess what, who cares, everyone is different. This also may not change how you feel or who you are at the end of the day. The point I am trying to make is that from the experiences people have shared with me I have learned to appreciate everyone no matter what because I am not here to judge. I am here to offer suggestions and help guide people along that have come in to my life for whatever reason or just to be there because they need me in some capacity. I have also learned what not to do, who I don't want to be and what I don't want my life to be like. Once you see these things it changes how you see the person you are and allows you to find that path to the person you aspire to be.
My reason for sharing this? Don't give up, there is so much more waiting and all you have to do is have faith. Let go of the hate and the resentment and the people that caused it and take back control over your life because you have the power to make a difference and make it different. If life isn't what you thought it would be then stop bitching about it and do something. Everyone has a need to vent but continuing to complain about how bad things are won't change them. You need to change them.
Stop being the person you don't want to be and stop letting people have power over your life and make this world and your life the way you want it to be.
~bells
I have never asked anyone for anything but to accept me for who I am. Until you have walked a day in my shoes you will never know how or why I have made the decisions I have so just be happy for me like I am happy for you. Be happy with yourself. When shit goes bad take the blame for it because at the end of the day it was your decision that led you there. Take what you got from it as a lesson and move around it. Don't blame others or God for your issues because they are only guides for you and only you can tell you what to do. The path he has laid out for you is just that, a path. You have the free will to follow it however you want to and you can guarantee that at one crossroads you'll look back at the path you have come down and go FUCK. what the hell was I thinking? when you can look back and see what you did wrong, it makes you a very strong person to accept it and do things differently when you make that next turn. It also gives you the knowledge to avoid making those same decisions down that next path and if you make them again it was your choice because you knew the consequences.
God may not exist, my belief in him may be a figment of my imagination but I still choose to believe that there is something out there because if I didn't then I would not still be walking this earth. I have had to have faith in a being much powerful than me in order to get through the situations life has thrown at me and that I have put myself in or I would never have gotten this far. I choose to believe that there is a purpose for me to be here because I would not have been able to live and enjoy life the way I do if I didn't. I would not have been able to learn from my mistakes and head down a path of happiness if I did not make the decision to find happiness in everything that I do. I have the power to determine how I want to live my life and the power to make it happen and I choose to believe that god is on my side as I do it so if I need to I can go to him if it is too much to bear and he will help me get through it.
I came into this world with the burden of being the product of rape to a young mother who was resentful and angry for the way life was treating her and having it taken out on me even though I didn't ask for it. I am a beautiful gift to her and to myself and I know that what happened wasn't my fault and it isn't her fault because she was too young to know how to deal with a situation most adults can't even deal with. My mother is the strongest person I have ever met and I thank god everyday for believing in her strength to get through it and strength in me for being able to handle something like that. I am truly blessed with the knowledge I have gained and the gift of being able to understand and appreciate people for who they are. I could hate God and hate the world for what I have dealt with but he had a plan for me and I truly believe that if he didn't break the mold for me I would have lived the average normal life that everyone else does. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that by any means nor am I resentful because there is a reason, a purpose for me being here, I have no idea what but that is okay because I know that I make a difference in peoples lives no matter how big or small it may be. I strive to be a better person and accept things as they are but also to make sure that I try a little harder everyday to be a good friend, daughter and sister to my friends and family because without them or God I would not still be here trying.
This may or may not have helped you understand why I do things the way that I do and guess what, who cares, everyone is different. This also may not change how you feel or who you are at the end of the day. The point I am trying to make is that from the experiences people have shared with me I have learned to appreciate everyone no matter what because I am not here to judge. I am here to offer suggestions and help guide people along that have come in to my life for whatever reason or just to be there because they need me in some capacity. I have also learned what not to do, who I don't want to be and what I don't want my life to be like. Once you see these things it changes how you see the person you are and allows you to find that path to the person you aspire to be.
My reason for sharing this? Don't give up, there is so much more waiting and all you have to do is have faith. Let go of the hate and the resentment and the people that caused it and take back control over your life because you have the power to make a difference and make it different. If life isn't what you thought it would be then stop bitching about it and do something. Everyone has a need to vent but continuing to complain about how bad things are won't change them. You need to change them.
Stop being the person you don't want to be and stop letting people have power over your life and make this world and your life the way you want it to be.
~bells
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Mi vida loca
Hmm, let's see.. If you are following me chances are you already know quite a bit about me.. I'm the oldest of four beautiful women (the youngest is 13 going on 30) and my mom was a single parent. we were brought up to be humble and not take for granted the gifts we were given because there wasn't much..we had the basics and that was enough for us..The men that were around aren't worth more than this mention so she did the best she could and raised some amazing children if I do say so myself (on a good day..lol)..
I have been through more than the average woman my age but me amo mi vida loca (i love my crazy life). There are days when I wonder what god really has in store for me to conquer since everyday is something different..I've been physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally abused but I refuse to be a statistic or let any of that hold me back from loving life and all of the wonders and knowledge it has brought me.. I am thirsty for learning and never take an opportunity to do so for granted and prove to myself that I can be better then I was because I have been at the bottom and I DO NOT want to go back there..
I make sure that I put myself first because if I am not happy with me then I will never be happy with anyone else. I have done the medication and therapy route and they worked for awhile when i was really having problems dealing with everything but I only go to therapy when I really need it. I am a firm believer in asking for help. Somethings you really cannot do on your own and if you have a support system then use it because they are your anchor.
There were days when I felt like I had nothing left for anyone to take and nothing left to give and it wasn't worth staying around but I am here because of those around me..I am, in the words of an inspirational person, A beautiful mess inside and I can't wait to find that someone who is more than happy to jump in and take the time to discover all of the amazing things about me that are hidden..
I have the most amazing group of friends around me..I have had to weed out quite a few but I can honestly say the ones who have stuck around are the real ones. They have seen the good, the bad and the downright ugly and still see the beauty inside me. Never, ever, let anyone take away your ability to love and trust because without trust you will be miserable and full of hate and unable to achieve your dreams. Forgive those who do you wrong, why? because in the end whatever wrong they have done will come and destroy them in the end. Be honest, tell the truth regardless of how bad you think it may hurt someone..telling the truth is preferable to believing the lies..No one is perfect, it is your imperfections that make you who you are and everyone is unique. It sounds hard, and believe me, it is but it is worth the work because being smart about the situations you are in and positive without being colored by your feelings will allow the happiness to come on its own..
with that, I finish my official 2nd post :)
~bells
I have been through more than the average woman my age but me amo mi vida loca (i love my crazy life). There are days when I wonder what god really has in store for me to conquer since everyday is something different..I've been physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally abused but I refuse to be a statistic or let any of that hold me back from loving life and all of the wonders and knowledge it has brought me.. I am thirsty for learning and never take an opportunity to do so for granted and prove to myself that I can be better then I was because I have been at the bottom and I DO NOT want to go back there..
I make sure that I put myself first because if I am not happy with me then I will never be happy with anyone else. I have done the medication and therapy route and they worked for awhile when i was really having problems dealing with everything but I only go to therapy when I really need it. I am a firm believer in asking for help. Somethings you really cannot do on your own and if you have a support system then use it because they are your anchor.
There were days when I felt like I had nothing left for anyone to take and nothing left to give and it wasn't worth staying around but I am here because of those around me..I am, in the words of an inspirational person, A beautiful mess inside and I can't wait to find that someone who is more than happy to jump in and take the time to discover all of the amazing things about me that are hidden..
I have the most amazing group of friends around me..I have had to weed out quite a few but I can honestly say the ones who have stuck around are the real ones. They have seen the good, the bad and the downright ugly and still see the beauty inside me. Never, ever, let anyone take away your ability to love and trust because without trust you will be miserable and full of hate and unable to achieve your dreams. Forgive those who do you wrong, why? because in the end whatever wrong they have done will come and destroy them in the end. Be honest, tell the truth regardless of how bad you think it may hurt someone..telling the truth is preferable to believing the lies..No one is perfect, it is your imperfections that make you who you are and everyone is unique. It sounds hard, and believe me, it is but it is worth the work because being smart about the situations you are in and positive without being colored by your feelings will allow the happiness to come on its own..
with that, I finish my official 2nd post :)
~bells
ahhh, day one
So, I finally did it...I am writing my first blog...I may as well start with, I am not gonna censor and I don't care if you dont like or agree with what I have to say. If you have something to say then create your own. I do not judge therefore I would expect no judgement from you. I have not decided what this will contain so it will be a surprise everyday...So, if you are still here then lets get this started..
~bells
~bells
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